DARE WE DECLARE WINTER OVER?
It sure feels like SPRING! Daffodils starting to bloom, crocus popping up, robins showing red breasts.
OH, speaking of breasts...
Did you hear about the assault with a loaded boob? A woman was being booked on "suspicion" of DUI and while changing into her jail jumpsuit, SQUIRTED THE JAILER IN THE FACE WITH BREAST MILK! Who ever heard of such a thing! Now the prisoner is charged with several counts of ASSAULT, along with her DUI arrest.
This is obviously a RESPONSIBLE person. She's lactating...so I GUESS that would mean she's got a baby of breastfeeding age...and she's getting drunk and driving around...VERY responsible.
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE...KELLY'S MOM, MIDGE
(From Kelly) Here's another Midge update: It's been exactly one week today that she was admitted to Dekalb Medical and the good news is that she contuines to improve. She was in good spirits this morning despite being woken up at all hours last night by staff. Even woken up at 1am and asked if she wanted a BATH! Your prayers are working so please keep them coming.
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE...Fascist-LOVING, Intolerant CELEBUJERK
In yesterday's blog, I talked about nice guy, Sean Penn saying anyone who criticized him should "die, screaming with rectal cancer." Well, the bosom buddy of dictator, Hugo Chavez if Venezuela, apparently is rubbing off on Sean.
Penn also said in that same "cancer" interview that any journalist who calls Chavez a "dictator" should be JAILED. Wow, that's what Chavez thinks, too. And he HAS jailed his critics...guess that's better than wishing rectal cancer on them. BUT...jailing your critics for calling you a dictator...isn't that the very DEFINITION OF DICTATOR?
DAN RATHER HAS SLIPPED A GROOVE
Former CBS News anchor Dan Rather, while talking to Chris Matthews of CNN, about the GOP's expected strategy against Democrats in elections this fall, said Republicans would describe President Obama as "a nice person ... very articulate" but an ineffective leader who "couldn't sell watermelons if you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic."
WHAT? What does that mean? Who is he intending to insult? Turns out he is insulting to us all...what a stupid thing to say. But...wait...Rather prefaced the comments by saying, "The Republicans will make a case and a lot of independents will buy this argument."
WHAT ARGUMENT? Dan hasn't been right since he got mugged about 10 years ago...he claimed some guy beat him up as he kept repeating, "What's the frequency, Kenneth?"
Yeah, that makes sense, too, huh?
DRIVING A TOYOTA? OH WHAT A FEELING...HOW'S THAT FEEL ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
There is even MORE evidence that the Toyotas are a bit of a risk. The latest evidence came when a Prius driver on Interstate 8 in San Diego called 911, claiming he could not stop his car. The accelerator was racing and the breaks were not stopping the vehicle as he hit speeds of over 90 mph. A CHiPs Officer was able to locate the car, slow it down and stop it with his patrol car. The Prius driver had just come from the Toyota dealership, where the service representative told him his care was NOT on the recall list and everything was OK...OK, why don't YOU get in the car and drive it around for a while?
Oh and who's going to be responsible for cleaning that soiled front seat?
WHAT IS GOING ON IN THOSE CONGRESSIONAL SHOWERS?
This man, NY Democrat Representative Eric Massa claims he is being shoved aside by the White House for his refusal to back the Obama health care plan. THAT, he claims is what is behind accusations that he "sexually harassed" a male staff member a few months back and subsequently forced him to resign from Congers. Massa claims it's just his "salty language" that got him in trouble.
Regardless, his claim is that he was cornered in the Congress' gym shower by THIS MAN:
...the one nuzzling the Speaker of the House. RAHM EMANUEL.
According to Massa, the confrontation took place with Emanuel NAKED and got heated as the two stood in the buff, nose to nose...or whatever...to whatever...you get the picture...
Since his announcement to resign his seat in Congress, Massa called Emanuel "the son of Satan's spawn." That would make him the devil's grandson, if that accusation is correct.
Does Glenn Back know that the GRANDSON OF THE DEVIL has access to the OVAL OFFICE?
Quick, get the chalkboard!!
READY BRAIN?
We first met THIS famous icon on this date in 1959. Who...or what is it?
Answer: BARBIE
Barbara Millicent Roberts debuted March 9, 1959...whoo, that makes her 51 years old...wonder if they'll come out with a new COUGAR BARBIE! Much younger Ken sold separately!
LATER
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