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Monday, 28 December 2009
ENGAGE YOUR BRAIN!
It's a childish thing...bet you've done it...bet your kids have done it BUT...if you do it in Italy, you could get arrested and charged. What is it?
Answer: STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT AT SOMEONE!
Carlo O. a farmer, was charged in Cessation Court with sticking his tongue out at his neighbor. She caught it on her camera phone. Carlo had to pay nearly TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS in court costs and will have to pay DAMAGES to his offended neighbor.
In Italy, courts often find people guilty of "offending a person's honor."
Keep that tongue where it belongs!!
SPEAKING OF KEEPING IT WHERE IT BELONGS...
www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,581282,00.html
An Indian politician...86 YEARS-OLD...resigned over a video tape featuring HIM IN BED WITH THREE WOMEN...and not just "in bed" but IN BED!
Seems to me, if you're those three women that is something YOU WOULD NOT want video taped...if you're an 86 year old man...YOU WOULD! If nothing else...just BRAGGING RIGHTS.
That's something you want to share with the boys at the old folk's home. Just be sure to have the defibrillators handy!!
A LITTLE LAUGH FOR THE DAY
Sent from our friend JOHN V.
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies: "Hey. Get out. You're on my side."
Saturday, 26 December 2009
Your contract of friendship has been renewed
for the
New Year 2010!
My Wish for You in 2010
May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts.
May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy
May the problems you had, forget your home address!
In simple words ............
May 2010 be the best year
of your life!!!
And ours, too!!
Friday, 25 December 2009
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!
and
ALL THE BLESSINGS OF THE NEW YEAR!!
Thursday, 24 December 2009
Thursday, 24 December 2009
AND SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS...
www.youtube.com/watch
Is that "hope and change" working for you? I sure hope so. Here's to a wonderful New Year for us all.
OH, IN CASE YOU FORGOT...
www.youtube.com/watch
This is what CHRISTMAS is all about!! Thank you Linus!!
We are another year older but NOT ONE DAY SMARTER...APPARENTLY. See these headlines?
GRANDMA GIVES POT COOKIES TO GRANDSON!
www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,581074,00.html
WOMAN CALLS 911 BECAUSE HER HUSBAND WOULDN'T EAT HIS DINNER!
www.breitbart.com/article.php
FT HOOD SHOOTER TALKED ABOUT "KILLING AMERICANS" IN 2008
www.breitbart.com/article.php
Ya think SOMEBODY could have said something!! Maybe PC helped cause the death of 32 of our finest young Americans? Could be...
BUDGET OFFICES BACKS UP ON OBAMA CARE "SAVINGS"
www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=ackCRQU57HhY&pos=9
Whadja do, forget to carry the 1 TRILLION?
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!smilebox.com/playEmail/4d544d314d6a59314f544e384d5449344d6a55334e44633d0d0a&sb=1
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
WHAT A YEAR!
I have to say, I am not sad to see THIS year go by. We had NO IDEA a year ago that we'd STILL be out of work...if you are, too, I sympathize. Add to that a few other disappointments along the way and the death of our son, TJ, and man...I certainly hope that there is something better in store for 2010.
HERE'S SOME STUPID STUFF...THERE IS NO SHORTAGE OF THAT IN THE WORLD
GLOBAL DUMBING!
Check out this video...I, PERSONALLY don't believe in this GLOBAL WARMING hysteria. I believe it's all a way to redistribute wealth and bring down our system of government but...if you do, that's one thing BUT...if you do...be sure to be a LITTLE KNOWLEDGEABLE!! JUST A LITTLE...
www.daveweinbaum.com/lordm.html
HEALTH SCARE BILL
Just one question...if this health care bill is SO GREAT...if it is going to SAVE OUR ECONOMY and PUT PEOPLE BACK TO WORK and our COUNTRY ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY...then
WHY:
1) Did Democrat Senators have to be BRIBED to sign on to it"
Nelson of Nebraska...free Medicare of Nebraskans forever...at OUR expense.
Dodd of Connecticut...$100 MILLION to use for a hospital (Whaddaya bet the Cris Dodd wing?)
Landrieu of Louisiana...$300 MILLION in medical assistance
And I am sure there is more.
2) Was it necessary to VOTE IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING?
What were they hiding by voting when NO ONE would see?
3) Wasn't this out in the open, as President Obama promised?
He said it would be on C-SPAN and inclusive of both parties.
4) Did Harry Reid do it all behind closed doors?
And then later insult any Senator who did NOT get some sort of personal favor included in the
bill? He said, if any Senators did not get something included for themselves in the bill, "it doesn't
speak well for them."
Why?
WANNA ESCAPE THE STUPIDITY?
Air Tran has some great deals on Net Escapes...get your great destinations on sale TODAY!
www.airtran.com/Home.aspx
UH OH! TEN MINUTES TO WAPNER!
Remember that? Know who Kim Peek is? He is the guy who inspired Dustin Hoffman's character in "Rain Man." Kim Peek passed away this week. The Utah man was considered a "Mega Savant", apparently able to remember and recall the most minute of details, dates, numbers and was a GENIUS in 15 different subjects.
I hope he was wearing his underwear. (You had to see the movie!)
OH, HOW WAS "ELECTION DAY?"
So glad you asked...it was great. The show was hilarious and I was....well...Here are some of the comments from those who attended:
"...you were FANTASTIC LAST NIGHT!!!!!!"
-Jackie Costello- (I love it when a gorgeous woman says that...satisfied my perverted side.)
"Great show, great performance, great time."
-Stephen Helldorfer- (My son-in-law)
"As always, you were the best."
-Maria Middleton- (My daughter)
"Why didn't he keep his clothes on?"
-some cretin who had no business being there in the first place- ( I made that one up)
Don't you just LOVE reading the reviews?
That's all I have time for today...see ya next time.
Friday, 18 December 2009
ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY IN DIXIE!
One thing is sure, we've had plenty of rain this year. Meanwhile in Copenhagen, they are battling FREEZING TEMPERATURES while they discuss GLOBAL WARMING. Do you know the WH is trying to commit the US...that's YOU AND ME...to $100 BILLION EACH YEAR to give to developing countries to combat global warming...combat effects of gw that HAVEN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET and to pay for our sins of being industrious.
Ok, let's review...we're $12 TRILLION upside down on our debt. We just passed ANOTHER $155 BILLION jobs(?)/bailout bill, we're TRYING to pass a $1.2 TRILLION health care bill and we want to give another ONE HUNDRED BILLION to DEVELOPING COUNTRIES? OH, and do you know that among those "developing countries" are INDIA AND CHINA? We're already borrowing money from CHINA, what are we supposed to do, borrow more so we can GIVE IT RIGHT BACK TO THEM?
Are we insane?
Sorry, end of rant!
A LITTLE CHRISTMAS CHUCKLE...HOW JACK BAUER GOT ON SANTA'S NAUGHTY LIST!
www.youtube.com/watch
Thursday, 17 December 2009
DO YOU DO IT? BET YOU DON'T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT IT!
MIND EXPANDER: 15% OF AMERICANS DO IT...BUT IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT GETTING AROUND THE CHURCH GROUP...OR ANYWHERE ELSE, FOR THAT MATTER. WHAT IS IT?
ANSWER: see below!
PLEASE COME SEE ME IN "ELECTION DAY" at the Alliance Theatre Friday and Saturday at 7:30! Hilarious show!!! Tickets only $10!
It's in the Black Box Theater on the 3rd floor at the Woodruff Arts Center; 1280 Peachtree St. details at:
alliancetheatre.org
BEN BERNANKE IS TIME'S PERSON OF THE YEAR?
He's the FED HEAD and look what great shape our economy is in today...so, HE'S the best you could do?
What, Bernie Madhoff not available to receive the award? Oh, right..he's not...sorry.
Some other nominees:
Usain Bolt-the Jamaican sprinter...and he impacted the world, how? OK...he's fast....and....
Nancy Pelosi - Speaker of the House...no comment...
"The Chinese Worker" - you're kidding about that one, right? NO? What are you guys at Time doing...
inhaling LEAD PAINT...the kind that comes from CHINESE products? You eating some of that anti-freeze dog food...MADE IN CHINA? Come on!
Even Nancy Pelosi makes more sense than the Chine...on second thought...
HEY LADIES...ARE YOU PLANNING ON DOING ANY FLASHING?
Well, if you are, do TWO things...first tell me where you're planning to do it! :- )
And second...read this:
FLASHING CAN WIND YOU UP IN THE HOSPITAL
A New Zealand teen who was flashing her breasts at passing cars has not only been found guilty of disorderly behavior but landed in the hospital after a distracted driver ran into her. Cherelle May Dudfield, 18, pleaded guilty to the charge when she appeared in court on Wednesday. Dudfield, egged on by her friends, was flashing passing motorists from a traffic island in the middle of a four-lane road in the southern city of Invercargill on September 27th. The alcohol-fueled prank went awry when one of the vehicles crashed into her as she tried to run to the side of the road. According to police, "She rolled up onto the hood of the car and cracked the windshield before she came down with injuries and was taken to hospital." And yes, there was alcohol involved.
tinyurl.com/flashingbigones
TIGER'S UP TO 14 NOW...MINUS HIS WIFE...SHE'S OUTTHERE!
Elin is packing the kids and taking them to Sweden for the Holidays...don't count on her coming back to Tiger. But the good news? He was just named Athlete of the Decade...
This is some weird insight into Tiger's past...
Dina Parr, who dated the golfer when he was a junior in high school until he was a freshman at Stanford University in 1995, told E! News that Woods dumped her via a handwritten letter. She says the letter was a shock...it came out of nowhere. Here's the letter that E! got their hands on...
(Woods had it delivered to her hotel after they had just spent a seemingly great day together, Parr says, adding that he had invited her to come to Stanford for the weekend, where he was playing in a tournament.)
"The reason for writing this letter is to inform you of my absolute anger and disappointment in you," reads the cursive-scrawled missive. "Today I heard from my parents that you were telling everyone in the gallery who would listen that you were Tiger's girlfriend. Then you have the nerve to tell me in the clubhouse when a reporter asked you who you were, you respond with 'just a friend. "My parents...and myself, never want to talk or hear from you again. Reflecting back over this relationship, I feel used and manipulated by you and your family. I hope the rest of your life runs well for you. I know this is sudden and a surprise but it is, in my opinion, much warranted."
The letter signs off, "Sincerely, Tiger," and "P.S. Please mail my necklace that I gave to you when you get back home. Don't show up at the tournament tomorrow because you are just not welcomed."
"I cried for two days," Parr told E! News. Woods followed up five or six months later with a holiday card that read. "I am truly sorry for what I did to you and your family," the card states. "I regret the action I took. I know that is not the way it should have ended, for that I am truly sorry."
Parr also says that Tiger was destroyed by the fact that his dad was with a lot of different women, cheating on his mother. "He would be so upset, so I just tried to be there for him and listen to him." Once, she said, Woods talked about one of his dad's girlfriends. "I remember he was crying and very upset in this one conversation, and he was like, 'I can't even believe the type of women he's going out with! She's disgusting.' He didn't exactly have the nicest words to say." Parr says she came forward to let people know that Tiger's life wasn't perfect and he had a tough childhood.
AND NOW THE ANSWER: 15% OF AMERICANS BITE THEIR TOENAILS.
Now you see why you wouldn't want that getting around. Wonder if it makes you breath smell funny?
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
CENSUS TIME...GET READY FOR THE SCAMS!
BUT FIRST...BRAIN EXPANSION TIME...
A new survey says PARENTS will spend a MONTH of their lives doing this. What are they doing?
Answer: SEE BELOW!
AND NOW BACK TO OUR DISCUSSION ALREADY IN PROGRESS...
The FEDERAL CENSUS comes around every 10 years so the Congress can connive to arrange voting districts, divide election spoils and stack the legislatures with their crooked comrades...rather cynical view, huh? Well, anyway, the census DOES count people for various funding and social purposes.
So...with the CENSUS TAKES ARRIVAL also comes the arrival of scam artists. The BBB...Better Business Bureau, if you didn't know...has a few things it would like for you to know...
REMEMBER, NO MATTER WHAT THEY ASK, YOU REALLY ONLY NEED TO TELL THEM
HOW MANY PEOPLE LIVE AT YOUR ADDRESS.
While the Census Bureau might ask for basic financial
information, such as a salary range, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER
ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION. The Census Bureau
will not ask for Social Security, bank account, or credit card
numbers, nor will employees solicit donations. Any one asking for
that information is NOT with the Census Bureau.
AND REMEMBER, THE CENSUS BUREAU HAS DECIDED NOT TO WORK WITH ACORN
ON GATHERING THIS INFORMATION.. No Acorn worker should approach
you saying he/she is with the Census Bureau.
Eventually, Census workers may contact you by telephone, mail, or
in person at home. However, the Census Bureau will not contact you
by Email, so be on the lookout for Email scams impersonating the
Census.
Never click on a link or open any attachments in an Email that are
supposedly from the U.S. Census Bureau.
For more advice on avoiding identity theft and fraud, visit
www.bbb.org
PLEASE SHARE THIS INFO WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
OK...THE ANSWER: They spend a MONTH of their lives PLAYING WITH THEIR KIDS TOYS!
According to new research, the average parent spends more than a month of their life playing with their children's toys by themselves. Researchers claim parents mess around with toys such as dolls, cars and action figures for at least 22 minutes per day when not playing with their child. This means they fiddle with games, bricks and dolls for two hours and 34 minutes every week, which equates to nearly five days a year. While the child is between the ages of four and 11, the average parent will play alone for one month and 10 days. One in five parents admitted picking up toys and games to amuse themselves at least twice a day with half preferring Lego, followed by games and puzzles (47%) and painting
(25%). The study of 2,000 parents found 25% of parents admitted that their boredom, rather than their child's, has triggered them to buy new toys.
tinyurl.com/somekidsnevergrowup
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
GET READY BRAIN...HERE IT COMES...
The people who work in THIS place owe a total of more than $800,000.00 in FEDERAL INCOME TAXES. What place is this?
Answer: THE WHITE HOUSE!!
White House staffers owe nearly A BILLION in unpaid taxes to the IRS. Just 50 employees owe a total of $812,917.00. You'd think they'd be easy enough to track down, wouldn't ya? They're not alone...apparently FEDERAL employees in particular, are the WORST at paying their taxes.
(from Radio Star)
FEDERAL EMPLOYEES OWE $3 BILLION IN BACK INCOME TAXES FROM 2008
As Americans across the country struggle for jobs, Congress just voted a 2% pay raise for the most secure job in town..federal employee. And, it not only means you're rarely fired for job inefficiency, it apparently means you don't have to worry about paying those pesky old income tax bill either. Yesterday, a report was issued that showed 276,300 federal employees and retirees owe $3,042,200,000 in overdue payments to the IRS. That's actually down from the $3.5 billion they didn't pay in 2007 either. While every department had delinquent returns, the agency with the most unpaid taxes is the U.S. Postal Service with 28,913 employees owing $297,933,756. The Senate has 231 employees owing 2.5 million, the House, 447 employees owing almost $6 million and the U.S. Tax Court, 3 employees owing 39,752!
( Oh, and by the way...didn't the HEAD OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE, TIMOTHY GEITHNER have to fork over a FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS before he was able to take his seat as the FED HEAD? He only did THAT because he HAD TO to get the job. If the guy IN CHARGE doesn't have to pay taxes...)
GO AHEAD AND YANK IT!
It's official...yanking a band aid off is LESS PAINFUL than pulling it off slowly. That's the conclusion of a study at Cook University in Australia. (Hey, at least it wasn't YOUR tax dollars wasted on THAT one!)
tinyurl.com/pullfast
LET'S SAY THANKS...IT'S THE LEAST WE COULD DO!!
http:// letssaythanks.com/Home1024.html
Support the troops and seen them an e-mail card
Monday, 14 December 2009
BEEN ABSENT THE PAST FEW DAYS...SORRY!
Like many of you, I've been fighting some sort of crud...so, with "Election Day" having opened on Friday and run the weekend, it meant I spent more DOWN time to save up for the show. Just finished a nasty coughing fit! Man!!!
The show went very well, by the way...thanks for any of you who attended. There is still a chance to see the it at the Woodruff Arts Center, in the Black Box Theater, 3rd floor...Friday and Saturday evenings at 7:30. Would love for you to come. Tickets are available at the door.
ADDITIONS TO THE K & A SITE!
You'll notice on the main page, a video reel for me, Alpha. It's an audition reel for any voice over, or acting talent...so...if you are looking to hire some talent...or you KNOW someone who is...DROP US A LINE!!
IN DA NEWZ; SENATE PASSES MASSIVE $1.1 TRILLION SPENDING BILL..BILLIONS IN PORK
President Obama's promise to end pork barrel spending (money Senators and Congressmen use to pay off people back home for their votes) with a final bill last spring, will get another test. Yesterday, the Senate echoed the House last week and wrapped up a $1.1 trillion spending bill..that's only part of the $3.6 trillion annual budget. With 1 of 6 Americans out of work, the bill includes a 2% pay raise for all government workers. The bill puts the government on track to create a $1.5 trillion deficit, and it includes billions in pet projects for the Senators as well as members of the House....more than 5,000 earmarks overall. For example, it gives Nebraska $2.7 million for "surgical operations in outer space." Senator John McCain said after it passed..."We should be embarrassed by this process."
*A 12% increase in spending from last year...
*Two airports in Mississippi that each serves 100 passenger a day will get
$8 million on top of the $4.4 million the airports just received from the
stimulus package..Their sponsor/Senators are both Republicans...
(They are equal opportunity SCREW UPS!)
SO, IF YOU READ THAT...
You already know the answer to the MIND EXPANDER.
Yep, Nebraska will have $2.7 MILLION to do surgeries in outer space. I know...me too...I'm too dumbfounded to even offer a comment.
IS THIS ANY WAY TO PROVE YOUR LOVE?
A truck driver was arrested Friday after he allegedly urinated at the entrance of the apartment belonging to a woman he liked. Police said that 22-year-old Yuuki Oshima visited the woman’s apartment after midnight on November 19th and urinated through the mail slot in the door onto a towel that was hung inside to keep people from peeping into the apartment. Police said Oshima admits to the charges, and quoted him as saying, "I absolutely went crazy for her the first time I saw her, and just did it." Oshima told police that he first saw the woman on the street in Noda during mid-August, but didn’t speak to her or try to approach her. The woman had reported to police that from late August, her doorbell would often ring in the middle of the night and she would sometimes find urine inside the entrance to her apartment. http:// tinyurl.com/dontpeeonme
Don't you think a Hallmark card would have been a nicer choice? Yeah, me too.
FOR GREAT GIFTS, BE SURE TO VISIT OUR NEW SPONSOR! SONSHINE MALL! Check 'em out!
www.sonshinemall.com/home
ELECTION DAY EXTENDED!! Come see the HILARIOUS "Election Day" by Josh Tobiessen and featuring a great cast, including ME, (Alpha) appearing in The Black Box Theater @ the Alliance Theatre opening this Friday 7:30; Saturday 2:30 & Sunday 5:30. Then Friday 12/18-19 at 7:30. Tickets only $10! www.alliancetheatre.org
"Election Day" features a shady politician, a nymphomaniac, an eco-terrorist, a pot-eating lawyer and a poor schlub who wind up in the SAME APARTMENT on Election Day! There's cheating, eating, drinking and hanky panky and handcuffs involved. Ya gotta see it.
Tuesday, 08 December 2009
FOR GREAT GIFTS, BE SURE TO VISIT OUR NEW SPONSOR! SONSHINE MALL! Check 'em out!
www.sonshinemall.com/home
ELECTION DAY EXTENDED!! Come see the HILARIOUS "Election Day" by Josh Tobiessen and featuring a great cast, including ME, (Alpha) appearing in The Black Box Theater @ the Alliance Theatre opening this Friday 7:30; Saturday 2:30 & Sunday 5:30. Then Friday 12/18-19 at 7:30. Tickets only $10! www.alliancetheatre.org
"Election Day" features a shady politician, a nymphomaniac, an eco-terrorist, a pot-eating lawyer and a poor schlub who wind up in the SAME APARTMENT on Election Day! There's cheating, eating, drinking and hanky panky and handcuffs involved. Ya gotta see it.
RAINING AGAIN IN ATLANTA...THAT MEANS UGLY TRAFFIC...BE CAREFUL!
YOU GET YOUR CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS BACK!
A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS 8pm (ABC)
The award-winning "Peanuts" special returns with Charlie Brown and Linus searching for the real meaning of Christmas.
TIGER'S UP TO TEN WOMEN NOW
Guess he's made the turn and he's on the BACK NINE!
SOMETHING FUN FOR THE KIDS
NORTH POLE
www.northpole.com
One of the best and most fun holiday websites. Visit all the different houses in Santa's village and find fun things to do!
VERY EXCLUSIVE CLUB
"Only 450 people have ever been into space; that's including all the Russians,
all the Chinese and all the Americans put together." (Richard Branson)
But with Branson's new Space Liner, you too could rocket into outer space...if you can afford the $200,000 ticket, that is.
Extra bag fee? DON'T ASK!!
(If anybody's thinking of giving me THAT for Christmas...thanks but...just give me the cash, instead.)
THINK YOU'RE SO SMART COLLEGE TOWN?
The Daily Beast today released its ranking of the twenty five smartest (and dumbest) college towns in America. The towns are, from smartest to dumbest:
1. Chapel Hill, North Carolina(Grade: A)
2. Ann Arbor, Michigan(Grade: A)
3. Boulder, Colorado(Grade: A)
4. Cambridge, Massachusetts(Grade: A)
5. Berkeley, California(Grade: A)
6. Madison, Wisconsin(Grade: B)
7. East Lansing, Michigan(Grade: B)
8. State College, Pennsylvania(Grade: B)
9. Ames, Iowa(Grade: B)
10. Amherst, Massachusetts(Grade: B)
11. Ithaca, New York(Grade: B)
12. Columbia, Missouri(Grade: B)
13. Charlottesville, Virginia(Grade: B)
14. Davis, California(Grade: B)
15. Corvallis, Oregon(Grade: B)
16. College Station, Texas(Grade: C)
17. Gainesville, Florida(Grade: C)
18. Auburn, Alabama(Grade: C)
19. College Park, Maryland(Grade: C)
20. Lawrence, Kansas(Grade: C)
21. Champaign-Urbana, Illinois(Grade: D)
22. Norman, Oklahoma(Grade: D)
23. South Bend, Indiana(Grade: D)
24. Kent, Ohio(Grade: D)
25. Athens, Georgia(Grade: F) DOH!!
Criteria:
1. Bachelor's degrees per capita for the over-25 population: this measured the relative education of permanent residents.
2. Graduate degrees per capita for the over-25 population: similar to above, but more stratified.
3. Median SAT score for the town's student population.
4. Voter turnout in the 2008 election: political engagement, whether left or right, has repeatedly correlated with higher intelligence; the one criteria that measures behavior, rather than achievement.
OK, BRAIN...GET TO WORK!
According to a survey, it takes Americans just 8 minutes and 22 seconds to do this. What are they doing?
ANSWER: Lose their temper while waiting
A recent study looked at how long it took people to reach breaking point in a variety of situations, from waiting for an internet page to load, to being put on hold by a call center.
Unsurprisingly, people were willing to wait longer for friends to show up than the kettle to boil - but the average time was eight minutes and 22 seconds.
After that people admit they tend to 'lose it' with common responses being to shout at someone, cancel a service, walk out or even punch someone.
How long we are willing to wait:
Waiting for an Internet page to load 3 mins 38 secs
Waiting on hold 5 mins 4 secs
Waiting for the kettle to boil 5 mins 6 secs
Waiting for food in a restaurant 8 mins 38 secs
Waiting for friends to show up 10 mins 1 secs
Waiting for a tradesman to show 10 mins 43 secs
Waiting for someone to reply to a vm/text 13 mins 16 secs
Monday, 07 December 2009
PEARL HARBOR REMEMBRANCE DAY
December 7, 1941...the event that launched the US into war with the Japanese in World War II...may we always remember those who sacrificed and those who lost their lives at the cost of freedom around the world.
Sadly, many could not tell you what the day means or why it should be honored. Make sure you remind the kids, OK?
If you don't know the story, here's a thumbnail:
Pearl Harbor Day...on this date in 1941 at 7:55 AM, nearly 200 Japanese aircraft attacked US Naval Base, Pearl Harbor, Hawaii...the raid lasted little more than one hour....nearly 3,000 Americans dead.
The attack on Pearl Harbor brought about immediate US entry into World War 11, a Declaration of War was requested by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, and approved by the Congress on Dec 8,1941.
A little bit of Pearl Harbor trivia: What company made the Japanese Zeros, the airplanes that were flown in the bombing raid of our Hawaiian Naval Base?
Mitsubishi...yep, the same company that makes the cars, TV's and stereos you listen to today.
COULD THIS DAY LIVE IN INFAMY, AS WELL? December 7, 2009?
It's the GLOBAL WARMING SUMMIT IN COPENHAGEN.
15,000 delegates, 5,000 journalists, 98 world leaders, Prince Charles, Leonardo
DiCaprio, Daryl Hannah and Bishop Tutu...as well as Senator Jim Inhofe who is
jetting in with his "Anti-climate-change Truth Squad."..oh, and 1400 prostitutes
who have promised free sex...and..lots of caviar...
One goal of the summit is to get "rich" countries like US to GIVE TEN BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR for at LEAST the next three years to "POOR" countries to fight the effects of CLIMATE CHANGE.
Oh, by the way, you KNOW where that money will come from, right? YOU AND ME! TEN BILLION PER YEAR!
While we have a TWELVE TRILLION DOLLAR DEFICIT!!
IT'S BRAIN EXPANSION TIME!!
New study says THIS one thing you do as a parent, could go a long way toward determining whether your child will be NAUGHTY or NICE. What is it?
Answer: YOUR CHOICE OF NAMES.
Yeah, this research says NAMES tend to predict behavior of children.
Be careful what you name your kid. Research by School Stickers, (a classroom rewards company) has revealed that children with certain names are the most likely to behave well...while those who misbehave tend to have other specific names.
Nicest Girls Naughtiest Girls Nicest Boys Naughtiest Boys
Frances Meghan Shaun Rory
Kelly Georgie Calum Harvey
Stacey Izzy Ali Bob
Eve Jess Brandon Tyler
Aisha Joanna Samuel Brad
Fiona Cara Steven Curtis
Melissa Maria Alfie Paul
Fatima Josie Mohammed Toby
Louisa Niamh Martin Carl
Annabel Erin Dylan Nick
Personally, I think it's a load of CRAP. I've found that any kid named Beelzebub to be pretty much a JERK...but you be the judge.
FOR GREAT GIFTS, BE SURE TO VISIT OUR NEW SPONSOR! SUNSHINE MALL! Check 'em out!
www.sonshinemall.com/home
ELECTION DAY EXTENDED!! Come see the HILARIOUS "Election Day" by Josh Tobiessen and featuring a great cast, including ME, (Alpha) appearing in The Black Box Theater @ the Alliance Theatre opening this Friday 7:30; Saturday 2:30 & Sunday 5:30. Then Friday 12/18-19 at 7:30. Tickets only $10!
www.alliancetheatre.org
"Election Day" features a shady politician, a nymphomaniac, an eco-terrorist, a pot-eating lawyer and a poor schlub who wind up in the SAME APARTMENT on Election Day! There's cheating, eating, drinking and hanky panky and handcuffs involved. Ya gotta see it.
Sunday, 06 December 2009
FOR GREAT GIFTS, BE SURE TO VISIT OUR NEW SPONSOR! SUNSHINE MALL! Check 'em out!
www.sonshinemall.com/home
ELECTION DAY EXTENDED!! Come see the HILARIOUS "Election Day" by Josh Tobiessen and featuring a great cast, including ME, (Alpha) appearing in The Black Box Theater @ the Alliance Theatre opening this Friday 7:30; Saturday 2:30 & Sunday 5:30. Then Friday 12/18-19 at 7:30. Tickets only $10!
www.alliancetheatre.org
"Election Day" features a shady politician, a nymphomaniac, an eco-terrorist, a pot-eating lawyer and a poor schlub who wind up in the SAME APARTMENT on Election Day! There's cheating, eating, drinking and hanky panky and handcuffs involved. Ya gotta see it.
Friday, 04 December 2009
OFF THE AIR NEARLY A YEAR AND A HALF AND STILL GETTING NICE NOTES LIKE THIS ONE FROM PAM...
Are you on the air anywhere now that can be picked up in Atlanta?
We really miss you. We stopped listening to WSB when you left.
We went with you to Spring Training one year and throughly enjoyed the experience. My husband was the one that looks like the guy in ZZ-top.
Hope all is well with both of you and your families.
Thanks and Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
FOR THE KIDS...FOR CHRISTMAS
Have Santa call your child...sound like fun?
SANTA SPEAKING
www.santaspeaking.com
GIFT FOR THAT PERSON WHO HAS EVERYTHING?
PERSONALIZED CEREAL
www.meandgoji.com
Create, customize and name your own breakfast cereal or trail mix. You can even have your photo put on the box. Pretty cool gift, huh? Now he can be just like Tiger Woods...well...in a manner of speaking...his cereal comes with a FREE PRE-NUP INSIDE EVERY BOX!
OK, BRAIN...ENGAGE!
What was the THIRD MOST WATCHED TV show EPISODE of the past decade? Hint: it was a REALITY SHOW! (DUH!)
Answer:
3. JOE MILLIONAIRE (Air date: February 17, 2003; Viewers: 40 million)
Fox put a deceptive twist on the reality TV genre with "Joe Millionaire." Why
tell contestants the truth when fooling them is so much more fun? With women
vying for the attention of fake millionaire Evan Marriott, millions watched
the season finale to see which bachelorette he would choose and, more
important, how she would react when she learned the truth about his identity.
Marriott's relationship with winner Zora Andrich didn't last and, once the
show's twist played out, neither did "Joe Millionaire."
Kind of a sad commentary on OUR society, huh?
The rest of the most?
1. FRIENDS (Airdate: May 6, 2004; Viewers: 52.5 million)
Titled "The Last One," the "Friends" series finale closed a modern-day Golden
Age of comedy TV -- and marked the end of NBC's "Must-See TV" era. At the
time, the final "Friends" was the most-watched entertainment telecast in six
years, and it has never been surpassed.
2. SURVIVOR: PALAU (Airdate: August 23, 2000; Viewers: 51.7 million)
"Survivor" was a new series that premiered in the dead of summer, yet that
didn't stop its August finale from nearly toppling "Friends" as the
most-watched telecast of the decade. During its riveting two-hour closer,
audiences expected tough whitewater rafting guide Kelly Wiglesworth to
triumph over scheming corporate trainer Richard Hatch for the show's $1
million prize -- and then were stunned to discover that in this new TV genre
called "reality," sometimes the villain wins.
3. JOE MILLIONAIRE (Airdate: February 17, 2003; Viewers: 40 million)
4. ER (Airdate: February 17, 2000; Viewers: 39.4 million)
A car crash the previous week left Lucy Knight and John Carter gravely
injured after they were attacked by a schizophrenic patient. A massive
audience tuned in for this episode, "All in the Family," to see who would
survive. Considered one of the most tragic episodes of the series.
5. AMERICAN IDOL (Airdate: January 16, 2007; Viewers: 38.1 million)
The "American Idol" sixth-season premiere marked the pinnacle of the show's
popularity, back when each season brought in a higher number than the one
before. The Minneapolis episode opened a season that Jordin Sparks would go
on to win, and introduced millions to the name Sanjaya.
6. GREY'S ANATOMY (Airdate: February 5, 2006; Viewers: 38 million)
Code black! This post-Super Bowl episode of ABC's medical soap was jam-packed
with attention-getting drama for the football crowd -- supply-closet sex, a
doctor giving birth, a lesbian shower scene and guest star Christina Ricci as
a paramedic with her hand on the trigger of a bomb that's also inside her
patient. The episode sealed "Grey's" hit status and proved girly shows can
score ratings touchdowns after the Big Game, too.
7. WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE (Airdate: May 3, 2000; Viewers: 36 million)
Three "Millionaire" episodes from the same week in May are clumped together
on the most-watched list, as Regis fever swept the country. ABC was
criticized for airing this flashy new game show three or even four nights a
the week, though we'll never know if the network's scheduling saturation was
to blame for the show's demise two years later or if the game show's
popularity with viewers was destined to be short-lived.
8. FRASIER (Airdate: May 18, 2000; Viewers: 33.7 million)
The seventh-season finale of "Cheers" spin-off "Fraiser" promised to end the
suspense over Niles Crane's swooning over physical therapist Daphne Moon.
Niles confesses his love for Daphne on the eve of her wedding, only to be
rejected ... or so it seemed at first.
9. EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND (Airdate: May 16, 2005; Viewers: 32.9 million)
The series finale for Ray Romano's long-running sitcom went off the air as a
top 10-ranked show among total viewers. The episode was only subtly climatic,
with Ray Barone's routine surgery resulting in a moment where his family
thought he might have died. The episode concluded with the Barones talking
and laughing around the dinner table.
10. SPIN CITY (Airdate: May 24, 2000; Viewers: 32.8 million)
This was the final episode starring Michael J. Fox, who left the show
because of his worsening Parkinson's symptoms. Charlie Sheen took the lead
role for two more "Spins" seasons, and Fox had a brief return in the final
year.
Thursday, 03 December 2009
QUOTE TO REMEMBER:
A government that is big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. -Thomas Jefferson-
OK, YOU PEOPLE ARE SCARING ME!
The lunacy in DC is astounding! We are TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN DEBT and what do our so-called leaders do? CONTINUE TO SPEND! CONTINUE TO THROW AWAY MONEY! CONTINUE TO TELL US WE HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING WE DON'T WANT!!
The dumber we are, the better they like it. If you think we're not DUMB, check this out:
Just a FEW scary things from the report, titled;
"The American Revolution. Who Cares? Americans are Yearning to Learn, Failing to Know,"
include the following...(with some commentary from me)
Many more Americans remember that Michael Jackson sang "Beat It" than know that the Bill of Rights is part of the Constitution.
60% of Americans can correctly identify the number of children in reality-TV show couple Jon and Kate Gosselin's household (eight);
But more than one-third do not know the century in which the American Revolution took place (18th).
(Probably couldn't identify the 1700's as the 18th century!)
Half of those surveyed believe the Civil War (1861-1865)
Emancipation Proclamation (1863)
and the War of 1812 occurred before the American Revolution (1775-1783).
(Bet they couldn't tell you what year the War of 1812 began!)
More than 50% of Americans surveyed wrongly attributed the quote, "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs" to:
George Washington (sure, when in doubt, say GEORGE WASHINGTON!)
Thomas Paine (surprised they even knew who HE was)
or President Barack Obama (OK, a better guess than the OTHER TWO)
In fact a quote from Karl Marx, author of "The Communist Manifesto.
(Was he the one with the mustache or the one who played the HARP? That's giving them too much credit for even knowing who the Marx Brothers are!)
Does anyone else find this troubling? And maybe a little bit scary?
OK...NOW FOR THE TRIVIAL...
In the AVERAGE HOUSEHOLD, this will occur at 9:58 on CHRISTMAS morning. What will happen at that time?
Answer: the FIRST ARGUMENT!
I know, some of you are saying...what took you so long? (yeah, I'm familiar with it)
-
Wednesday, 02 December 2009
GOING TO BE IN COPENHAGEN SOON?
If you're attending the Climate Summit in Copenhagen in January, doing this is going to cost you $1200! What is that expensive in Copenhagen?
Answer: Shaking hands with Al Gore!
If you do, be sure to hold a mirror over his nose to make sure he's breathing!
This guy is making more money of this ALLEGED global warming...
Think about it...ever been in an argument with someone and that other person said, "THE DISCUSSION IS OVER!" I'm right and we're not going to talk about it any more."?
Ever notice that the odds are pretty good that THAT person is NOT right and just can't come up with any more legitimate arguments to PROVE he/she is right? It's just a bullying tactic to FORCE you to shut up and see hit his/her way!
In science, it seems to me, the debate is ALWAYS open...open for dissent, discussion, questions...SOMETHING! Otherwise this thing is going to cost us TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS!!! Obama admitted himself your utilities bill would "skyrocket." Anybody want to see ANY of their bills skyrocket?
Thought so...
Tuesday, 01 December 2009
MISSING YOUR CHARLEY BROWN CHRISTMAS?
The President's speech tonight preempted the Christmas classic, "Charley Brown Christmas." So, enjoy this:
www.youtube.com/watch
Tuesday, 01 December 2009
HOLIDAYS...BEST AND WORST...
Charles Dickens opened "A Tale of Two Cities" with those words. That famous line can be used to describe the Holiday Season. From Thanksgiving to New Years, with Christmas in between, the times are filled with family, friends, loved ones, happiness, joy...most of the time...for most of us. There is also a sadness that often comes with the Season. Loneliness, depression, sadness, sometimes accompany this time of year, as well. We're surrounded by the joy of the Season while we sit on our island, longing to share that joy. Sometimes, it's a case of missing someone who can not be or is no longer with us.
It will be that way for us this year, as we will miss our son, TJ. He passed away in July. We will truly miss him this year, as we will every year from here on.
The reason I bring that up is, a new study from the University of Chicago, UC-San Diego and Harvard says loneliness is CONTAGIOUS...and it can consume us and further isolate us.
When someone feels lonely, according to the study, that feeling is broadcast, sometimes unknowingly, to those around you. It can engulf those people, as well, filling them with the same desperate feeling of abandonment or isolation. Eventually this leads those persons to pull away, into themselves and away from you. The result...you are isolated even further and removing yourself from the very thing you need most...companionship, friendship and the feelings of well being that come along.
Don't have a lot of money for presents this year? Yeah, we don't either. But we are going to be with our family and yes, we'll laugh and yes, we'll cry but we'll do it together...and that will make all the difference. For us, it will be the best of times and the worst of times.
Why am I saying this? Because I don't want you to fall into this loneliness abyss. I know it's hard but embrace those around you. Share their joy. Reach out to someone who needs you and together, you can shake off that forlorn feeling. Yeah, it may sound like sappy "you can do it" talk but try it.
Christmas is supposed to be HAPPY. Make it happy...don't isolate yourself. Surround yourself with people and if you see someone who could use a little love, help, smile...give it. In times like these, all we have is ourselves and each other to rely upon. THAT is what Christmas is for. <end of sermon>
NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...SEX!
How about THAT for an about face? "Sexperts"...what a term, huh? The coined phrase for people who are supposed experts on SEX...as if...how does one get THAT job? I mean, I could see how one could bone up (so to speak) for it in college but is that on the CURRICULUM? Do you declare that as a major out of high school? If so, how do you break THAT to your parents? Anyway, these so-called experts on sex say there is such a thing as Sex-Related Amnesia! OK...and what is it?
Forgetting how long its been since you had sex? No. (Married life can do that.)
Forgetting the name of the person you just woke up (and presumably had sex) with? No.
Forgetting (conveniently) that you ever has sex with someone in the first place? No.
(The latter is the logic behind the born again virgin concept.)
According to "sexperts" one can actually encounter a set of circumstances, in which the pleasure was so good, that it would force him or her to actually FORGET that the act occurred. (Alcohol seems to play a large hand in THAT.)
Shame, though...one would think THAT would be the very time you'd want to remember. Perhaps that's why so many people, stars in particular, seem prone to VIDEO TAPE...HMMM.
<End of salaciousness>
WELL, HE'S LOST THE BIG ROUND-HEADED KID VOTE!
Barack Obama's speech tonight outlining his Afghan strategy will preempt a Christmas CLASSIC!! "A Charley Brown Christmas!" Unbelievable...you've waited FOUR MONTHS to make a decision...like another day is gonna endear you more to EITHER SIDE OF THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM...it HAS TO BE ON THIS NIGHT? It's one of the highlights of the Christmas Season! The CHARLEY BROWN SPECIAL?
For those of you, like me, who will miss tonight's Snoopy fix, here is the greatest dance scene in TV history!
www.youtube.com/watch
Enjoy!!
EXPAND YOUR BRAIN!
These were first introduced at Christmas time in 1903 and cost a whopping TWELVE BUCKS at the time...about a WEEK'S WAGES...what were they?
Answer: pre-strung Christmas lights.
You think decorating the tree NOW is expensive.



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